On 90 Day Fiance Season 9, Episode 9, it’s really time for these couples to get more serious about wedding plans … either making them, or scrapping them.

First, Emily’s parents are happy to support her for now, but hope that she and Kobe have a long-term plan.

Kobe has a plan … but it’s not a realistic one.

Shaeeda bonds with Bilal’s daughter while the man himself drags his heels instead of even discussing wedding plans.

Speaking of wedding plans, we see the aftermath of Jibri’s fight with his buddy, all while Miona is trying on wedding dresses.

Kara and Guillermo have very different ideas about what their wedding should be like.

Patrick confesses to having hooked up with another girl while dating Thais, but doesn’t see it as a big deal because it’s in the past.

Finally, Yvette gets a lecture from Mohamed for hanging out with her friends, who he thinks are a bad influence on her.


After last week’s ugly exchange, where Emily was bossy and micromanaging and Kobe retaliated by telling her to “shut the f–k up,” they seem desperate to show the cameras that they can communicate in healthy ways and enjoy each other’s company.


Kobe rides a horse

Kobe rides a horse

As a world-traveling model, Kobe had many experiences, but this is apparently his first time on horseback.


Later, Emily talks to her parents

Later, Emily talks to her parents

As delicately as she can, she asks if they’re willing to help out with the wedding. Emily is a full time mom and Kobe cannot work until he gets his documents, so David and Lisa have been helping out with more than just childcare already. While they’re going to continue to help out, however, they remind her that she doesn’t have to get married just for the sake of it — only if she and Kobe really want to be together.


For the first time, Emily’s dead hears about their exchange

For the first time, Emily's dead hears about their exchange

Lisa can’t stop thinking about it — who could? — but lets Emily tell David about how she had been too bossy with Kobe while he was working in the stable and how he had responded by telling her to “shut the f–k up.” David is visibly stunned, as Lisa was at the time, and as hopefully any parent would be. The two stress to Emily that she needs to know that no one has the right to speak to her that way.


Later, Kobe talks to his future father-in-law

Later, Kobe talks to his future father-in-law

David doesn’t address the “STFU” incident, figuring that it’s Emily’s business, but he is concerned about the couple’s financial future. He’s supporting them now, but not forever. Kobe says that Emily had previously suggested that he could go back to underwear modeling. That’s not a forever-job and requires a lot of work (staying in shape is harder as you get older, especially when you’re taking care of a kid even part of the time and can’t live at a gym), but it’s something that he’s done before.


Kobe has an idea

Kobe has an idea

David is an architect and, Kobe says, has his own business. Kobe would like for him to train him and prepare him to one day take over the family business. David is … stunned. He and Lisa are both very polite and good at keeping their shock to themselves, but to the confessional camera, he admits that he is taken aback by Kobe’s galling request.


He diplomatically asks questions

He diplomatically asks questions

Instead of asking if Kobe’s out of his mind or even asking why he thinks that this is reasonable, David asks about Kobe’s qualifications. It turns out that Kobe has a high school degree, but some experience in civil engineering, which he hopes will transfer in some capacity. David explains that Kobe would need actual educational qualifications in architecture, which takes time and money.


Speaking of finances

Speaking of finances

Kobe had saved up about $4,000, but is unfamiliar with America. In Cameroon, this amount of money could last him nearly a year — not just with rent, but in feeding a family. David tells him that it could support their small family for about two months, and even in a mid-sized town like Salina, Kansas, that might be an exaggeration of how long it would last for two adults and a baby.


Bilal Hazzies and Shaeeda Sween

Bilal Hazzies and Shaeeda Sween

Bilal is heading out for a bit, so his daughter Zaynah and Shaeeda will have a chance to bond. Shaeeda suggests that they could cook together, and Zaynah relatably votes for curry, so that’s what they make.


It’s time for bonding

It's time for bonding

Shaeeda and Zaynah bond over Bilal’s obsession with tidiness, which Zaynah admits is a struggle for her since she is not a neat person in her own room. (Unfortunately, Shaeeda is still misusing OCD like it’s a quirky character trait and not a real, life-impacting diagnosis). Shaeeda also delicately brings up her desire for Bilal’s kids to eventually use a nickname with her, explaining to the camera that this was a culture shock for her, but that she now understands that using her first name is not rudeness on their part. (In fact, the familiarity is a compliment; if they were calling her Miss Sween or something, that would be hostility)


Time for a family outing

Time for a family outing

Ahead of trying out some scooters, Shaeeda and Bilal talk about wedding plans. Well, Shaeeda brings up wedding plans, and Bilal is evasive and dismisses the topic. This is how he’s been about other things, like having children, and it’s just not a healthy way to communicate.


Shaeeda tries to talk about Bilal’s behavior

After he basically negs her for a while after the family spends time on scooters, she tries to talk to him about how he is constantly lecturing her and keeping her on her toes with criticisms. Naturally, Bilal is instantly defensive and telling her that she’s wrong, so the conversation goes nowhere. This has to change.


Jibri Bell and Miona Bell

Jibri Bell and Miona Bell

Remember that physical fight that Jibri got into with Daveed Dacho? Well, Space Ca$h and Brandi helped to calm them down, reminding them that they’re in the studio. Once they get into a professional mindset, they can work and produce music, and they do well. (Just a quick note — the show spells his name as “David,” but his social media spells his name as “Daveed,” so that seems like the best way to go with spelling)


Meanwhile …

Meanwhile ...

Miona is elsewhere in Chicago, trying on a wedding dress. Dress shopping options were fairly limited in Rapid City, but not here.


After Brandi shows up to help shop

After Brandi shows up to help shop

Miona tells her all about how things stand (since the two are already friends), discussing how living with Jibri’s parents has been unpleasant and how she expects Jibri to not live with them for too much longer.


She wants Jibri to stand up for her

She wants Jibri to stand up for her

Brandi says that he does stand up for her and their relationship, though she doesn’t delve into details about his physical fight with Daveed at the studio, just saying that they had a confrontation about it.


Jibri and Daveed hash things out

Jibri and Daveed hash things out

While dining, Daveed expresses his fears that Miona is keeping Jibri away from music, which Jibri admits is true. Daveed is more positive now, not taking cheap shots at the relationship like he was before, but this seems to get to Jibri more than his combative comments were.


Jibri seems to be having second thoughts

Jibri seems to be having second thoughts

Miona doesn’t understand Jibri’s creative process, which sometimes includes getting up to work on music at 4AM — a pretty normal time for inspiration for many creatives, actually. Is that enough for him to back out of marrying her? Probably not, especially since the two of them married in Serbia before filming any of this.


Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer

Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer

While Guillermo and Kara hang out outside, they discuss wedding plans. Kara wants to hold off on having a real wedding until they have money to spend, and just have a $50 courthouse ceremony now. Guillermo doesn’t want to plan multiple weddings and would rather have their real wedding be their only wedding.


Time to prove a point

Time to prove a point

Seemingly intent upon showing Guillermo that his ideas about wedding costs aren’t realistic, Kara drives him to a wedding venue, though she’s concerned that it’s going to be torture for both of them. They’re at a gorgeous winery where polo matches are played, with a spectacular view of the Appalachian mountains.


They learn all about their wedding options

They learn all about their wedding options

They also learn the price tag, which is $7,500 for a Friday or Sunday, or $10,500 for a Saturday wedding. And that’s purely the venue fee — not catering, flowers, the dress, the DJ, or any other expenses. Guillermo gets the message. We’d say that they wasted this nice woman’s time, but since they essentially filmed a commercial for the wedding venue that will be viewed by millions, it was certainly worth her time.


But Kara and Guillermo have much to discuss

But Kara and Guillermo have much to discuss

Frankly, there’s some friction, and some of it is arising from who is calling the shots. In the DR, Kara was a guest in the country, and Guillermo was driving her places. Here, she is doing the driving — literally and figuratively — and sometimes makes uniliteral decisions like she would if she were single, which she’s not anymore. So they need to find a new, healthy balance.


Patrick Mendes and Thais Ramone

Patrick Mendes and Thais Ramone

Patrick talks to his brother, John. They’re at the new house, where a plumber is coming because they woke up without hot water. The brothers discuss Thais’ dissatisfaction with the new house (real talk: she was dissatisfied with John’s continued presence), and John asks if she’s still tracking his location — which is a “yes.” But Patrick has a plan to change that.


Time for a present

Time for a present

Bundled up in lingerie, Thais finds a brand new phone. It’s not a Christmas present, but a welcome-to-America gift.


There is one caveat

There is one caveat

Patrick tells Thais that this present has a string attached, which is that he will no longer be allowing her to track his location. It was an extreme measure before she came to the US, but he justified it by saying that she worried about his location and could know that he was home and asleep if he didn’t answer. Now, however, they’re sharing the same bed, and it’s time for this controlling measure to end.


But Thais has a good reason for not trusting him

But Thais has a good reason for not trusting him

Months into their relationship, he hooked up with a girl at a party, making out with her. In fact, he tells the camera that the only thing that stopped him from having sex with her was that he was drinking.


Patrick tries to play word games, but no

Patrick tries to play word games, but no

One, kissing is “hooking up.” Hooking up covers a broad range of actions, from making out to penetrative sex to a deeply kinky four person shower bonefest. Two, Patrick and Thais have to decide for themselves what is and is not cheating. For some couples, a kiss is not cheating. For others, it is. But one of them cannot unilaterally decide that they’re allowed to make out at parties. While this was in the past, it really happened, and Patrick isn’t reassuring Thais by acting like it’s no big deal.


Perfect timing

Perfect timing

Back home, John pops in to tell the couple that he has unilaterally decided to throw a housewarming party with some “friends from work.”


DUDE

DUDE

John fully admits that he didn’t ask them because they would have said “no.” C’mon, man.


Thais is on her best behavior

Thais is on her best behavior

She’s friendly with people, she’s talking with them and discussing her home.


Then the ladies show up

Then the ladies show up

Thais is uncomfortable but still chats with the girls. Privately, however, and in Portuguese, she tells Patrick that she has her eye on him. That would sound so toxic and controlling if we hadn’t heard about Patrick’s past. Now it just sounds a little hypervigilant.


Patrick reassures her

Patrick reassures her

Unfortunately, he does this by calling all of the women “very ugly,” which is an awful thing to say, no matter his intentions.


Yvette Arellano and Mohamed Abdelhamed

Yvette Arellano and Mohamed Abdelhamed

Mohamed is scolding Yve for staying out with her friends so late. Yvette is a grown woman who spends most of her time doing work or childcare, so she is accustomed to hanging out with her friends, and it wasn’t like this was a secret outing, but Mohamed thinks that it went on for too long.


He thinks that they’re a bad influence on her

He thinks that they're a bad influence on her

Mohamed openly mocks Yvette’s friends for their concerns about her and the chances of her losing herself to his rules for their relationship.


Yve reminds him …

Yve reminds him ...

She already changed her diet, her drinking habits, and cleaned out her wardrobe for him. She even changed her toilet. But she’s not interested in converting, something that he only recently revealed that he would like for her to do. She’s unhappy that he’s surprising her with new demands, such as not being alone with a plumber.


Mohamed insists that he’s not trying to control her

Mohamed insists that he's not trying to control her

Instead, he says, he’s just expecting her to respect him and his culture. Perhaps that is how he sees it, but his rules and demands for her seem to extend well beyond that.



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